All of the spoilers!
If you have not seen the Veronica Mars movie, and you want to, then don’t read this. I can’t be held responsible for what will happen if you keep scrolling and see spoilers.
I wanted to see the Veronica Mars movie, because really, what was all the fuss about? They used Kickstarter to raise funds? Why were people so passionate about Veronica? Having never watched the show, I didn’t know. So I did what any reasonable person would do: bought all three seasons and watched them within the space of weeks. I won’t admit to how small a timeframe passed between the first episode and the last one, for fear you’ll judge me. But once I was done with the series, I immediately downloaded the movie, because I was hooked.
It was a slow burn though. Veronica’s arrogance is kind of annoying at times. I wasn’t sure I liked her. And the story of the week mysteries didn’t really hold my attention, it was the overarching season-long mysteries I liked. Visually it didn’t appeal to me – the first few episodes in particular were shot with exaggerated colours and tones and it kind of hurt my eyes to look at. But I got over all that, and the exact moment that happened was when Veronica cried with relief at finding out Keith was her actual biological father and I found myself crying along with her. The Veronica-Keith relationship is pretty much THE BEST. These characters get under your skin and you don’t even realise it’s happening.
So now I get it. If you were a fan from the original days and you had waited seven long years for this movie, after the series was prematurely cancelled in 2007, then I understand how momentous an occasion it would be to see it. I was excited to see it and not 24 hours had passed since I’d finished the series. And to its credit the jump from series to movie was pretty seamless. It played like an extra long episode of tv, and in this case that’s definitely not a bad thing. Here’s my top 10 favourite things about the long awaited for Veronica Mars movie.
10. Dick Casablancas
This guy. If there’s ever a remake of Dazed and Confused Ryan Hansen could step into the Matthew McConaughey character without blinking, because that’s exactly who I see every time I look at him. Dick’s return was pretty epic. I’m not sure what was my favourite bit. That he was shirtless the first time he’s on screen? That he immediately goes back to piling shit on Veronica? He’s the only person who gets away with calling her Ronnie? The hip flask belt buckle? No. The BEST Dick Casablancas bit belongs to the fight scene, where he dives into the fray with an inexplicable OC reference: “Welcome to the BC bitch!” Classic Dick.
9. Piz’s dancing
So the whole Piz-Veronica thing, I’m not buying it. When he first appeared I was like, Piz? Really? Stop trying to make Piz happen. Although the story took great pains to explain they’d only been dating for a year and not since college I still didn’t really buy that. Piz is nowhere near exciting enough for Veronica, and Veronica is not nice enough for Piz. I didn’t understand why she wouldn’t just be dating a random guy, but if she was then we would have been denied the dancing. And that would have been a crime against mankind, because Piz dancing is a reason to keep waking up in the morning. Also, his Buffy reference at the Neptune High reunion “it really does sit on a hellmouth” = best.
8. Wallace! Mac! Wallace and Mac! And Mac’s hair!
These two are wonderful and never got enough to do on the show. Was it just me or was there a nice vibe between the two of them? And can we talk about how stylin’ Mac’s hair looked? Love them.
We had to wait too long to see Weevil but when we did he didn’t disappoint. He managed to get himself shot and have his attacker claim it was in self-defence because he threatened her. Typical Weevil reaction: “get this case dismissed before anyone believes the words ‘time to party’ came out of my mouth”. Love him.
6. Veronica’s sharp tongue
Something great about being in movie-land rather than tv is characters can swear. Veronica’s brush off tactics as a series of guys try and hit on her at a club are super funny. My favourite bit was when she turned to Justin Long and said simply: “fuck off”. How many times do you think the V Mars of tv land wanted to be able to say that?
5. Dax Shepard dancing
Dax’s wordless cameo as ‘overconfident club boy’ is about 10 seconds worth of gold.
4. The new sheriff’s password
Jerry O’Connell fit right in as the new Sheriff Lamb. Who is kinda exactly like the old Sheriff Lamb. Anyway, his computer password (hacked by Mac of course) is JohnnyUtah69. I can’t even deal with how great that is.
3. No Duncan
Ugh Duncan. Absolutely my least favourite character, he was just this void of nothingness. The only time he hinted at having personality was that episode where he played drunk at Logan’s poker game. Hooray for no Duncan. But I do think Lily Kane should have been included in the memorial slide show at the Neptune High reunion.
2. Hel-lo Leo!
Of all the character returns Leo’s was the best. Charming, smiling, Deputy Leo was my second favourite of Veronica’s boys.
1. Logan and Veronica (LoVe)
In the tv series I found their first kiss to be somewhat awkward and thought it came out of nowhere. I didn’t get the shipper love for these two. And I didn’t understand the attraction to Logan. He has weird hand gestures and in the show wore terrible orange shirts with ugly shell necklaces all the time. But then their relationship matured, as did their on-screen chemistry and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I was ALL ABOUT dark, tortured Logan. I am not sure what it says about me that I like Logan the most when he’s punching people in the face for getting up in Veronica’s grill. I’m sure it’s not good and sets back feminist thinking several decades. However. I still like it and he does not disappoint in this movie. There’s dress uniforms and heroic moments, leaning against cars and punching people in the face for getting up in Veronica’s grill. Veronica had no chance. I love them together.
Some more thoughts:
- Exactly how many times in his life will Logan be accused of murder?
- Veronica and Logan haven’t spoken in years but when he calls she not only has his name programmed into her phone but a recent headshot as his contact photo? Ok. Convenient.
- Veronica and Keith felt kind of disconnected in the movie. There wasn’t enough time for them, although their reunion and banter was totally awesome.
- I did not enjoy the Weevil getting shot thing – I mean where is that going? I know there’s a book to continue the storyline but it felt too open-ended for a movie.
- Veronica’s voiceover drawing comparisons about her love for Logan being like an addiction seemed disingenuous. Veronica Mars is nobody’s bitch man. She is with Logan because she wants to be, not because she’s addicted to him.
My final thought? (Because more than 1000 words about Veronica Mars is enough).
The best V Mars tv scene was when Logan tells Veronica: “I thought our story was epic, you know, you and me. Spanning years and continents. Lives ruined, blood shed. Epic.” It’s sweet that Logan calls back to this in the movie, but in the show he said he was too drunk to remember that conversation. So what was it? He was lying? Or do we assume Veronica filled in the blanks for him in an off screen moment? I like the idea he was lying. That’s something Logan would do.
So, yeah. As a newcomer to Neptune I was totally into the Veronica Mars movie. It tied up a few loose ends from the series (it really should not have been cancelled, they had so much more in the tank) and opened up a few new ones. Apparently the budget, funded primarily by Kickstarter was $5.7 million. Here’s what I want to know. How can Hollywood justify a $40 million budget for a movie like The Host (post-Twilight Stephenie Myer book turned movie about aliens), which was almost unwatchable, but they couldn’t pony up $6 million for a movie based on a series that is passionately loved by an established audience? Don’t they want to make money? Somewhere out there there’s a studio exec who should be beating his head on a desk for passing on a V Mars movie.
Image credit: Forever Young Adult